A teeny-tiny fussy little drawing at just 15cm x 15cm.  It’s worked in black fine line pen, Zig Art and Graphic Twins with water wash provide the colours and iridescent gold water colour paint provides the highlights.

Just the thing to keep my slightly busy now I’m feeling on the mend.

I’m feeling rather queasy, and have for the past couple of days, so I’m taking time off work; proximity to a bathroom is very much required, and I will not gross or bore with the details.

Kindles …

Well, I’ve finally done it.  I’ve bought a Kindle 3G.  I’ve been humming and ahhing about one for a long time.  However, the overwhelming number of books in my home, the need to build up a library of books on hypnotherapy, the ability to store readings/talks/speeches I give to groups of people and carry them in a small, lightweight device which has clear text to see, and no doubt other uses I have not thought of yet for it, has won me over.

I found a seller on eBay with them for just under £100, and with next day delivery the bill came to around £102 – nearly a £50 saving on amazon.co.uk’s prices!

My only problem will be what books to get first on it … hypnotherapy, novels, other topics of interest, or Rupert Sheldrake’s new book The Science Delusion.  I don’t know, but I suspect hypnotherapy will heavily feature in my purchasing over the coming months.

A big step for me, a plunge even, as I need to find outlets for my creations, for others to acquire and share in the enjoyment I experience when I create and the love that goes into my creations.

Here’s the three ACEO cards – very simple, but that’s me at this moment in time as I rebalance my emotions from the revelations and emotional turmoil of the last few days…

Yes, I’m cynical.

However, I do find the traditions of Great Britain interesting, particularly their history and origins. I’ve been trying to work out why this is and what purpose it servers for me, what it means for me in terms of my life and how I approach traditions.

My first step has been to read about what ‘tradition’ means, and Wikipedia has been my first stop, and here are some of the bits of the article I found interesting.

A tradition is a ritual, belief or object passed down within a society, still maintained in the present, with origins in the past.  Traditions can persist and evolve for thousands of years … and new traditions continue to appear today.  While it is commonly assumed that traditions have ancient history, many traditions have been invented on purpose, whether that be political or cultural, over short periods of time.

Orignially, traditions were passed orally, without the need for a writing system.  Tools to aid this process include poetic devices such as rhyme and alliteration…and form part of an oral tradition.  Even such traditions, however, are presumed to have originated (been invented by humans) at some point.  Traditions are often presumed to be ancient, unalterable, and deeply important, though they may sometimes be much less ‘natural’ than is presumed.  Some traditions were deliberately invented for one reason or another, often to highlight or enhance the importance of a certain institution.  Traditions may also be adapted to suit the needs of the day, and the changes can become accepted as part of the ancient tradition.  Tradition also changes slowly, with the changes from one generation to the next not being seen as significant.  Thus, those carrying out the traditions will not be consciously aware of the change, and even if a tradition undergoes major changes over many generations, it will be seen as unchanged.

Many objects, beliefs and customs can be traditional.  Rituals of social interaction can be traditional, with phrases and gestures, such as saying ‘thank you’, sending greetings cards etc.  Tradition can also refer to larger concepts practised by groups (e.g. family traditions at Christmas), organisations (e.g. company’s picnic) or societies (e.g. public holidays).

An invented tradition is a new practice or object that is introduced in a manner that implies a connection with the past that is not necessarily present.  A tradition my be deliberately created and promulgated for personal, commercial, political or national self interest; or it may be adopted rapidly based on a highly publicised event, rather than developing and spreading organically, which occurred in the case of the white wedding dress, which only became popular after Queen Victoria wore a white gown at her wedding.  Most of the traditions of the monarchy, seen as rooted deep in history, actually date to the C19th.

Invented traditions are a central component of modern national cultures, providing a commonality of experience and promoting the unified national identity espoused by nationalism.

At Dictionary.com the definitions of tradition include:

• The handing down of statements, beliefs, legends customs, information, etc. from generation to generation, especially by word of mouth or by practice.
• A long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting.
• A continuing pattern of culture beliefs or practices.

And the absolute gem of my Googling – the transcript of one of the BBC Reith Lectures, 1999 – Lecture 3 – Tradition – Delhi, given by Professor Anthony Giddens.

In my view, it is entirely rational to recognise that traditions are needed in society. We shouldn’t accept the Enlightenment idea that the world should rid itself of tradition altogether. Traditions are needed, and will always persist, because they give continuity and form to life.

Tradition can perfectly well be defended in a non-traditional way – and that should be its future. Ritual, ceremonial and repetition have an important social role, something understood and acted upon by most organisations, including governments. Traditions will continue to be sustained insofar as they can effectively be justified – not in terms of their own internal rituals, but as compared to other traditions or ways of doing things.

I think for me, I’m coming to realise that the importance of traditions, as stated above, are that they give continuity and form to life.  What I will struggle with is whether they have meaning for me for me to celebrate, meaning for me as an intellectual pursuit, or meaning for me as something to observe/experience/witness.  Whichever I do, I am still taking part in that tradition and so becoming part of it in some way, and maybe that is the most important realisation of all of this rambling, digging and delving.

Well, the end of the calendar year, and the astronomical year if the Winter Solstice is seen as the end of one cycle and the start of the next, has come with a pile of revelations from a friend and a series of bangs that have released some inner demons and tears and uncovered an emptiness and knotted-ness in my gut area.

I’m pleased for my friend, don’t get me wrong.  At last they are taking the little yet huge step they need to take to release them from a situation that is untenable for them and into a new phase of their life’s journey.  I wish them happiness and joy and love.  I worry that they are chasing a rainbow, a dream that will not live up to reality, they’ll find the grass isn’t greener, but I know that they’ll find themselves progressing forward in a way they couldn’t where the currently are at.

Their excitement, fear, trepidation, hope and all the other things their going through has stirred up some ‘stuff’ within me that needs to be worked on and examined, which are, in no particular order:

• Job and Career – Teaching is no longer healthy for me and though I find pleasure and satisfaction in some areas of the job, increasingly I’m finding it harder and harder to cope with other aspects of it.  I need to look at myself and what I can offer in terms of being an employee and what I need from a workplace in order to feel appreciated, valued, successful and that I am achieving good and truly helping people.  What kind of career I want, I don’t know.  Maybe training as a hypnotherapist will lead me along the way.  However, I do know I need to identify what I’d like to do, and that starts with what I can do and so on.
• Relationships – I’ve been single for, gosh, thirteen and a half years now.  Along the way I’ve had many experiences placed along the spectrum of good to absolutely goddam awful.  I’ve felt time and time again the hurt of rejection and the blow it delivers to my self-esteem, self-respect and so on, and of course I realise that I expected nothing else.  Well, it’s about time that changed and it’s time for me to learn about relationships…big step for me.  How I do this, I don’t know, but it will start with me looking at myself honestly at the qualities I have, good and not so good, and come to accept and care about myself.
• Friendships – I have a small number of very good friends, but learning to ask for help and accepting it when it is given is … a big hurdle for me.  I’ve had to be strong and independent for so long, to prove I can do it, that admitting I can’t is a big thing.
• Creativity – I do not do enough to develop my writing skills and to weave stories.  I doubt my ability to do this.  I fear plagiarising, being unoriginal, being boring or trite.  I fear failure (damn that ultra-perfectionist part of me that doesn’t recognise when something is good enough).  I feel a sense of being overwhelmed when I think about telling a tale.  The result is I do nothing.  I also am lacking inspiration in art, finding myself doing the same kind of thing over and over and over …

The common threads running through all of this involve me learning to love myself by knowing who I am and to accept myself for this, warts and all.  I need to raise my self-esteem, my confidence, to be brave enough to start something.  Above all else, I need to find the courage to be brave enough to share something of myself with others.

To follow tradition or not?

This year, more than at any other time, I’ve found the traditions and the significance of events more puzzling and confusing.

The rational scientist in me recognises that time is a continuous flow, the only markers on time are the ones we place there so that we can agree on when we are talking about and the meaning we attach to those markers is manufactured to satisfy a need for predictable events in our lives, to bring some kind of order to what appears to be an otherwise random and chaotic existence.

Then the more spiritual aspect of me kicks in and says that it’s OK to do this, to mark the various points on the wheel of the year, the various events that we celebrate, the things we give meaning to.  They connect us together, for we are all connected, not just to all other human beings, not just to all life on Earth, but to the very stuff the Earth and, indeed, the Universe is made out of, the energy that constantly flows round and round.

We are not disconnected from the cycles that we can observe on this planet.  We may rationalise that they are caused by scientific laws, that they have no meaning.

However, I’m coming to realise that they do have meaning.  They bring us together and remind us that we are not separate, that what one of us does impacts on the whole, to a greater or lesser degree.  By honouring the traditions we connect to the patterns that are stored in the universal consciousness for humans have been honouring the same observed patterns and events over many, many generations.  It’s a way of honouring our forebears, of connecting to the present day, and of speaking to the future too.

It’s important, however, to decide if the particular traditions or observances fit in with your own philosophy, why you celebrate in the way you do, and to recognise that it is perfectly acceptable to change them as you grow and develop as a person, and not to just follow them blindly because you have always done them.  It is, of course, perfectly acceptable to create traditions of  your own too.

It may be that because I lead a very solitary existence, traditions celebrated by oneself have not really had any particular meaning, or have changed as my spiritual philosophy has grown and developed over the years.  Perhaps it is important that I find which traditions, which celebrations have meaning to me, and develop ways of observing them that lets me understand where they have come from, the meaning they have for me at this time, and how they will impact on the future.

Of course, I’m not sure if all of that made any sense at all!  Sometimes I need to get it out of me by writing and mithering and wittering on.

12″ x 8″.  Sakura Glaze pen for outline (grey used), Inktense pencils and water wash for colours, Cosmic Shimmer gold and silver watercolour paints for various bits and bobs.

Just finished this experiment.  The photo isn’t really all that good (I’ve said before, often, photography isn’t one of my skills, and the painting/drawing is too big to fit in my scanner).  The outlines are glossy and so have reflected the flash too much, and there are places where the metallic highlights haven’t shown up well, but you’ll get the idea.

I’m actually fairly pleased with this, especially when it is shrunk in size as all the imperfections I perceive disappear.

A friend gifted me a set of three books all about Romanesque, medieval and Gothic art.  Browsing through them reminded me of how much I love architecture, especially Romanesque.  It also reminded me of the wonderful angels to be seen at Malmesbury Abbey and Kilpeck Church, and I woke up this morning with an idea in my head to sketch and draw and create.  I want to do this work in a simple, stylised form – influenced by Romanesque and by Art Nouveau, and possibly stained glass.

Here is the work so far.

Around 12″ x 8″ in size, it has been outlined using a grey Sakura Glaze pen, which gives it that ‘stained glass’ feel.  I want to use jewel-bright colours to complete the work, the kinds of colours seen in medieval manuscripts.

All the very best wishes of the season and for the next cycle of seasons!

I love the organic, flowing lines and the stylised forms.  The roses are part of a bigger work, one where I’d tried out coloured pencils as well as watercolours, but I’m really not at all happy with the coloured pencil part!

The black outlines in the top picture are worked using a 0.35mm Rotring technical drawing pen, in the roses a black Sakura ‘Glaze’ pen was used; it’s glossy, raised line makes the image more like stained glass.

I found some of my old Art Nouveau books today and thought I’d have a play around with simple line drawings.  This fish caught my eye, though I’ve adapted it to suit me.

I’ve always loved the flowing lines and simplified and stylised forms of Art Nouveau; just like Early Celtic Art and Prehistoric Rock Art  and ammonites and Romanesque architecture natural forms and so on, the organically flowing curved lines and spirals really appeals to me and they often come out in my work.  OK, not often, but most of the time!

This was a really quick drawing to do too – it took around an hour to pencil out, then outline, then colour in and then scan!  That’s super speedy for me!  Usually my works take many, many more hours.

Now, I just have to decide where I go with this … it really is an experiment.